one thing that matters

This past weekend was so relaxing. I spent my time with friends doing absolutely nothing productive. And it was fabulous. I got several great books from dear people that I cannot wait to jump into. Much needed.

Then, Monday morning. Reality check.

It was just one of those days when all I could think was, "I just don't want to do this. Too much pressure. Too draining." I felt utterly helpless and as if this is just not what I was meant to do. Don't get me wrong, I know that the Lord has a plan and a reason for this season, but right now, I'm not willing to even pretend that I kind of like it. I don't. This is so much harder than I ever dreamed.

I am completely overwhelmed with all of the expectations for what I should be teaching and accomplishing with these children. I don't feel like there is enough time in the day to get through everything, especially with how much time is wasted by trying to get them to behave appropriately. Today we started a new management system, which I am hoping will help.

Anyway, I don't have any great, inspiring words to leave tonight. I'm just overwhelmed. And sick of this.