Why am I a teacher?

So today was absolutely awful at school. I now have 31 children in my class with 2 special education children coming in 90 minutes a day. These children seriously do not listen to a word I say. I say sit down and they choose to run around the room. I tell them to turn their voices off and they start screaming. AM I SPEAKING ANOTHER LANGUAGE!?! I just do not get it. They are absolutely wild. We are in the middle of week 3 and we still cannot walk down the hall quietly. I have honestly tried everything I know. Any management tactics I have learned or used in the past do not work with these children. They are so defiant. So disrespectful. It is unbelievable. If another teacher walks in the room and tells them what to do, they just do it. Doesn't matter that I have been saying the same thing for 10 minutes. I mean really, I have no clue what to do with them.

Supposedly we are getting another kindergarten teacher, but we are waiting on the paperwork to go through with the district before she can start. My principal says hopefully by next week that will be in place. Then I would only have 20 kids plus the two extra. I think that will help. It better. Because at this point, I am questioning so many things. Why did I choose teaching? This is not what I had in mind. I would seriously give anything to be teaching in a school where the children are better behaved and actually care. I mean really, I don't want to be one of those people that wakes up every day and dreads going to work. I want to love what I do, and in the past, I have totally loved teaching. But right now, I'm not getting to teach. All I am doing is trying to get them to listen to me for 5 seconds and not kill each other.

Lord, please give me patience with these children as they learn how to behave. Give me the words to speak to them so that they understand what to do and why. Be with each child, calming their spirits that are assuredly shaken by the things they must endure in this life. Let my classroom be a safe haven in their lives. I ask that the new teacher arrives soon, and not only for my sanity but also for the sake of learning being able to finally happen. Help me wake up each morning with a fresh attitude, ready to start a new day-- knowing it can be better than the previous one. Help me to love those kids more than myself, whatever that may look like. --Amen.