Expectations

I feel like a huge theme of my life for the past little while has been expectations. In moving to Tulsa, and in going back to Stillwater often as I do, I realized pretty quickly that my expectations of other people needed some adjustment. This is definitely something I have grappled with before...trying to figure out how to just let things be and go with the flow...not take things personally and just truly cherish time that I get to spend with people. It has been a learning curve for sure, and honestly, something the Lord has grown me in tremendously. There are some relationships that God has blessed and have grown, and I am so thankful that is the case! Yet, I find that in some ways, I am still learning and today I realized new aspects about expectations that I hadn't pieced together before.

This morning at church, as we were finishing up the study on 2 Timothy, we read in chapter 4, verses 16 and 17, "At my first defense no one supported me, but all deserted me; may it not be counted against them. But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that through me the proclamation might be fully accomplished, and that all the Gentiles might hear; and I was rescued out of the lion's mouth." Paul is speaking of how when he was proclaiming the Gospel, others were not backing him up as they should have, yet he forgave them, knowing that humans fail, God forgives (as should we), and that God was there.

JB talked about how as humans, we will absolutely fail. Others will fail us and will fail them. Expectations are all too often set and not met. And in my knowing this and learning to grow through it, one part that I have missed is embracing that the Lord IS the only constant one...it's not just me there all alone. God is there standing with me, making me stronger all the while. Not that I have been deserted as Paul speaks of, but been failed or disappointed by someone? Definitely. Disappointed others? Absolutely. It is inevitable. Likely if you are reading this, I have disappointed you or you have me. It really is the way we work. But I think that I am in this place now where I am learning to not have crazy expectations, yet even when they are realistic, to not be upset when I'm let down. Cling to the Lord. Ultimately His purpose will be accomplished, just as it was in Paul's day.

Another piece I thought about as the day went on and as I visited with a friend, was the thought that I also have expectations of God. Like in my mind, I am trying to figure out the way something should work out and expecting God to have things play out the way I dream it up. Putting that in writing sounds like total craziness, and really, it is. I am not in charge of this place we call earth. For crying out loud, I am really not even in charge of my own life. God is. Who am I to expect that God would have things go MY way. This is something that I totally didn't even recognize in myself until today, as I was thinking on specific situation that I clearly have my own opinion on. Praise the Lord for revealing this shortcoming in my thoughts, so that once again I can see that He really is in control and my trust for the present and future has to be solely in Him.

So that's it for now. Learning more every day. Loving Him more every day.